cheetah

Decay

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In many respects, I think I was better off two years ago than I am today. Academics and General Life Skills are the obvious exceptions; two years ago I was still an architecture major and barely knew how live by myself.


That being said, it often feels like in terms of my social circles, things have only gotten worse. In part that's because, for some reason, I've grown less social among my peers over the past few years. That isn't only online. Offline too, I've had a harder time going to RSO meetings and public events. I rarely go out of my room aside from going to classes, or going to eat or do errands. Even the latter I'll avoid if I can.


It's not healthy, and I know it, but I do it anyway.


But it also seems like many of the communities I was part of are slowly fading away. Some of the RPs I was part of dissolved, or fell completely inactive. The therian community often feels like it's entered a long, slow heat death. I haven't heard that much from the herpetology or zoology club on campus. Even if I was still part of the architecture club, I don't think they're meeting anymore.


And I hate it, but I don't know what to do about it anymore. Sometimes it feels like we're content to slowly die out. Everything's being displaced by Tumblr and Reddit and Twitter, I guess.


If you try to boil a frog, it will notice. I'm not sure we do.
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  1. Kisota's Avatar
    Sorry to hear this. More things will come up, I'm sure! It will help to get out of your room more.

    But either way, it'll be alright.

    And yeah, I feel the sorrow over online communities fading out. It sucks. Trying to reverse it feels like trying to bail out the Titanic though.
  2. TopBrass's Avatar
    I remember reading on your blog a few years ago about the troubles you had when you still had your archaeology major, and I'm sorry to hear you're still having problems. I can relate to them a lot.

    I'm not sure if you'd characterize some or any of what you've experienced as depression, but if you have, you'd really benefit from seeking help. I wish I had back when I was in school, I missed a lot of opportunities I would have otherwise seized.

    Maybe it's more of a general malaise? Whatever it is, you deserve better. Still, it can be interesting how life doesn't always unfold the way we'd imagine it. If it's less than what we imagined, it can be easy to give into despair.

    I know what you mean about the changing face of communities on the internet. I've always valued our community, even if I'm a fairly private and quiet person, but I still feel the sting too. Maybe there are different reasons, but many of us are uneasy about the shift of momentum to social media.

    It might also be worth saying that I think a lot of us 'discovered' therianthropy when we were fairly young. As we get older, some people get busy with their lives, or develop other interests. Still, I always wonder about the people I might have known, and I do regret not being more active and getting to know people better than I have.

    I've owed you an apology for a long time, but inertia works against us sometimes.
  3. Jayhawker's Avatar
    No matter if you have depression or not it seems best that you have someone to talk to. A therapist would be best, but if not just a friend who can just stop, listen, and ask the right questions.
    I hope you feel better soon, and find your way out of this rut.