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Thread: A therian's "cub/s" and parenting in general.

  1. #11
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    If I remember correctly, on another site I was on back in the day, one therian parent remarked that at a picnic or something, she licked a spot of food off her kid's face without even thinking about it, before realizing that was probably a socially weird thing to do. I had to read it twice before I realized what was weird.

    That said, count me among those who are rather put-off by the idea of having kids. I am starting to warm up to young children at least sometimes, but babies have always freaked me out. I don't know how to respond to them or handle them and I don't like them.

    On the topic of pets, I've always thought of my pets as more of buddies than kids.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lanina View Post
    I do not have any urge to have children, but if that would ever happen... I have also wondered... how much of my animality would I have to hide from that child? Would it be bad to scold a misbehaving child with a snarl instead of harsh human words? How negatively would people react if I lick clean my newborn from blood/slime instead of washing him/her with water? Is it bad if the child sees me give a quick lick on my partners face, instead of a kiss?
    I had a lot of these fears before becoming a parent. In fact, I could easily say that I was ANTI children. Until I had my own.
    Now that I have her, I am a bit "awkward" about certain things. For example, it doesn't phase me in the least if she's crawling around in grass (which apparently is a big no-no to "normal" moms with babies her age). And I feel I'm less strict about getting dirty, in general. I bathe her often, so I don't see why her getting dirty is a big deal.
    I do feel strange sometimes when I catch myself doing things like snarling at one of my parent's dogs who might be getting too close for my comfort to her. Or the fact that instead of checking her diaper by looking, I prefer to just sniff it (not totally strange, but most moms I meet prefer to look, I guess).
    She LOVES my animal noises though, and always giggles when I yip and nuzzle into her neck. Once I even grabbed her by her footed-pajamas by my teeth, and picked her up with my arms as an after thought. She was big enough to where she could hold her head up though, so it wasn't dangerous. But it was a situation that made me nervous as far as what my instinct was as opposed to what I "should" do.


    Quote Originally Posted by Arawn View Post
    I don't want children and never have (at least mentally; sometimes physically I want them, but that feeling has died)-- they're disgusting things to me [harsh, I know, but it's the truth].
    Oh, yes. It is absolutely true. Children, especially infants, are basically nothing but poop/slobber/vomit machines. Endless supply of all three! I sometimes wonder where it all even comes from.

    Quote Originally Posted by Arawn View Post
    However, animals will get the paternal instinct.
    I have a dog (a sheltie, to be specific. They always looked the most "fox-like" to me, and thus I always found them cuter than most) and he is like a second child to me. I'll admit I have neglected him some, as far as attention goes, since I had my own kit. But before I had her, I treated my dog like a child. I was very protective, and tended to be more focused on him than most humans in my life.

    Quote Originally Posted by Arawn View Post
    If I was ever to have human kids, the instincts would be shoved down and all animalistic behaviors would be heavily diluted as I do not want to impress it on them because I would hate for their self-identity to be reliant on how dad acts.
    This is a thought I have often. 'Will my Therianthrope tendencies damage or impede my offspring's life later on?'
    And is something I've always wanted to discuss with other like-minded individuals. As I said in the original post, she is surpassing in her development now. But I wonder if she will pick up certain habits from me that could make human-socialization difficult later on in life. I mean, in elementary school I barked at people. In fact, quite a few of us kids did. Obviously I had no external influence to do so at the time. We didn't even have a dog! And now I would like to think I socialize well.
    Perhaps it will all come down to a slow tapering off, if you will, of my habits and tendencies. At least, when around my daughter. Then by the time she is older, she probably won't even remember how Mommy used to lick the stain off her face, or that Mommy liked to get down and crawl and make funny noises, too. Or maybe she will remember, and either think I was just strange, or awesome.
    I suppose there's no real way to know for sure until the time comes.


    Quote Originally Posted by yourdeer View Post
    I don't think I'd ever call my children cubs/fawns/foals or anything other than as a pet name, which would actually be in line with how I was raised: my dad pet-names everyone, and almost never calls people by their name without somehow adding his own cute twist.
    Seeing as I am a very pet-name oriented person as well, it hasn't been strange (or even much noticed, for that matter) to most of my friends/family that I refer to my little one as a cub, or a kit. They all know I love foxes (just not to this depth, of course) because I have several fox-themed tattoos. And toys. And decorations.
    It also helps that my daughter was born with a LOT of hair. Baby fuzz is pretty common, and rubs off usually by their first birthday at the latest. But she was a hairy child! Full head of thick, long hair. Hair on her shoulders, legs, forehead, ears, and even on the crack of her bottom and her lower back! So when I started calling her "cub" and "kit" everyone assumed it was a cute petname because she was so hairy.

    Quote Originally Posted by yourdeer View Post
    The most likely thing I could think of is that I would keep my offspring fastidiously, obsessively clean (does will clean their fawns rigorously and actually ingest their excrement to prevent them from having any smell - not that I'd go that far as a human, obviously, but fun fact there), which is also in line with how I was raised, in that my parents never let me have food on my face or otherwise remain grubby.
    It is interesting to see how in-line your upbringing was (and thus your likely habits now are) in comparison to the attributes and personality of your Theriotype.
    And that fact is very interesting! I've never done much research on deer, but always see them, as I am from the MidWest. I doubt I'll ever see one eating it's fawn's excrement, but it's still a very fascinating level of dedication they have to their young.



    Quote Originally Posted by Violet View Post
    It's definitely intriguing to wonder if being therian myself has affected that at all.. but I think me being therian has just encouraged them to be more open minded and bond with me better because I play much more easily with them than alot of parents seem to do with theirs.
    I feel this, as well. I have a bond with my daughter that makes it hard for us to be apart. For her, and myself. I am very interested to see if she will also have the same open-mindedness I do later on in her life.


    Quote Originally Posted by Yoraeryu View Post
    My only worry is on religion and spirituality in their lives... They will apparently get a much better education attending French Catholic schools... I've had my own trials and tribulations attending Catholic school and would not wish such things on anyone, especially my own children. And I will not go to any church with them, nor will I encourage any Christianity in my house.

    My fiancee, while not a religious person himself, will do such things if need be. We'll see.

    I don't want to get them kicked out of school, either, because their mother talks to her altar and thinks there are more than one god- so I'm not sure I'll be teaching them about polytheism either. If they show interest, sure. If not, then that's fine.
    My husband comes from a VERY religious family. Though, he himself is actually anti-religions, in a way. Not to psychoanalyze him too much, but I blame the suffocatingly religious parents he has.

    I am not a religious person, really. I'm spiritual (obviously), to a degree. But am more so geared towards a scientific outlook on existence and being.

    For our daughter, we decided early on in my pregnancy that we will not introduce any religion to her until she is much older. And when we do, we will introduce them all. In an unbiased, educational format. (I.E.: 'Christianity stems from... It's followers believe this... Islam teaches this... Wicca practices with these ideals... Buddhism suggests so and so...')
    I feel strongly in allowing her to make her own, educated, decision at an age when she will have the mental capacity to do so. With as little external corruption as possible.

    *To somewhat shorten my now extremely long reply, I am summarizing a bit here for responses*
    In response to the posts by Mobius, Alliana, and Kisota.

    I can easily see how having children can be off-putting. Heck, as I said, I was anti-kids for most of my life.
    It is difficult, as any parent will agree, to suddenly be at the beck and call of a helpless creature that can't voice what they need, cry for the sake of crying, sleep so irregularly that you may go days without sleep, and (of course) is disgusting to a whole new level.

    And, honestly, being a parent is not for everyone. Yes, physically, we are genetically built to be able to reproduce. Though our genetic make-up has no bearing on our mindset. As we all know far too well.

    Though, for the people that do end up becoming a parent, it is easily among the most rewarding (and the most difficult) jobs to have. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

    Then again, I also wouldn't wish it upon anyone who wasn't mentally and emotionally wanting to be a parent. Hah!
    [SIZE="2"][FONT="Garamond"]Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire.[/FONT][/SIZE]

  3. #13
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    [FONT=Verdana]When they were alive I frequently called the Malamutes "kids". No such luck for the current mutts we have (Love them still, but Ma's were raised from puppies, or bcs they are similar enough to wolves, or we had them before "human" kids).[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana]As for parenting, tough to say. Everyone is fairly protective, especially the first one. The only time I have ever considered to be violent with my spouse is when my daughter was an infant and we were fighting (verbally) and she tried to take her from my arms ...(bad idea!) But the response was a human one, not animal (grabbed her wrist and twisted her away from the baby).[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana]I play a lot on all fours as well with the kids and the dogs. I think the most important aspect my therianthropy brings is an understanding of being "different" and what that all means. I try to be supportive of whatever type of person that they all are.[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana](Oh, have 9 y.o. daughter, very social and smart, a lot like me so I sometimes suspect a wolf in there... Son is 11, more introverted, creative, artistic, struggles with "normal" school and pacing. Made the best dinosaur impressions when younger! And an adopted 16 y.o., new to the family, about a year. Still figuring that one out but mostly trying to get her prepped for college!)[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana]So yes, my external therianthropy sides aren't always apparent, but they are still there. In my case pack 'rules' or niceties still apply, be respectful and courteous, especially to family. Little things like that but no big overwhelming animal thing...[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana]But it does show up: Example from tonight.....was making fun of my daughter who was on the computer. She finally said "You know I can hear you!" My reply was something about her not really listening though and her reply to that was a guttural "Ohhhhrrrrrrr" I asked my wife "did she just growl at me" "Yep!" Great......[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana]I do that one too. Not aggressive more an exasperation. My female Malamute did it too, and so far it is only my daughter and I that make that sound. Interesting. I won't push the idea at all to her (they do know I am wolf-like, but not what therianthropy means). But at least I understand and can help guide if the questions ever come up![/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana]Interesting topic and I do find it strange that more therians aren't as willing. It may come from my lower dysphoria perhaps, don't know. But I view kids like most wolves do, as the MOST important thing, period, and not just mine but all kids![/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana]P.S. I do find, and this isn't very PC, and I might differ if one were mine (but I doubt it) but with severely handicapped kids (not like Down's Syndrome, but nearly or completely non-functional) there is a very strong urge in me to "just kill it". I DO think that is a wolf thing in me....[/FONT]

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amarok View Post
    [FONT=Verdana]P.S. I do find, and this isn't very PC, and I might differ if one were mine (but I doubt it) but with severely handicapped kids (not like Down's Syndrome, but nearly or completely non-functional) there is a very strong urge in me to "just kill it". I DO think that is a wolf thing in me....[/FONT]
    While still not very PC, I actually agree with you, Amarok. I don't see why they're being kept alive if they cannot function more than blinks or twitches. ESPECIALLY if they'll never recover. Wouldn't it be kinder to just put them to sleep? We don't keep other animals alive if they're like that...

    I don't think I would want to clutch on to the desperate thought that my child would ever be productive or happy if they are born with half their brains missing or severe deformations that cripple them entirely.

    Perhaps if they could leave a semi-normal life, maybe one day even be independent, even with expensive and extensive surgeries... I've even read somewhere that they are developing technology for brain implants that attempt to give sight to the blind or sound to the deaf. So if it can be helped, then by all means... If they're just being barely kept alive, possibly in great pain day in and day out...

    That just seems inordinately cruel to me.

    But back to the topic at hand...

    I don't think I'd lick my children, either. I used to lick a lot when I was younger, then was severely curbed from it by several sources and now, thanks to that, licking just seems wrong to me.

    Which shouldn't be so, but there you are.

  5. #15
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    I would have to also agree on the urge to put a child out of its misery if it cannot be helped to live a life that is even halfway decent.

    But I feel, if anything, it's more of a kindness (along the lines of what Yoraeryu said) than just a want to destroy the "defective" child. And in a lot of ways, I feel this is the reason why it is so common in the animal world to eat their malformed young.
    A deformed fox, for example, may not be able to properly feed or hunt (or even scavenge for that matter) and would live its independant adult life always within inches of starvation, or in extreme pain due to its genetic errors. Also, aong those lines, should it happen to breed, it is likely its offspring would have an equally difficult life. So on, and so forth. It is cruel to have a life filled with so much pain that cannot be helped. And while it may not be politically correct, or morally (depending on what group of people you're talking to), I personally don't think it's right to allow such a tormented life to be dragged out painfully for all parties involved.
    [SIZE="2"][FONT="Garamond"]Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire.[/FONT][/SIZE]

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    Hm... came to think of it, I read recently about some rare cases where women who had been on the pill still got pregnant and didn't notice until it was too late to get an abortion. This made me very nervous. While these cases are rare, what would I, who doesn't want children, do if that happened to me? While some thoughts I had were human and "normal", like considering adoption or just to keep the child and make the best of it, some other thoughts were quite... feral? Like "can't I just eat the child?"
    Yup, I may be a bit crazy after all.

    I can get quite protective of kids, but mostly when they are closely related enough. Doesn't even have to be genetical: my aunt was adopted into the family, so her children (my cousins) aren't biologically related to me. But since I knew them so well and considered them family, I was very protective. I do not get this same feeling from my godmother's children though. But I think that I would be the equivalent of a non-breeding wolf, I can help out with other's kids and protect them, but I don't want my own kids.

    I wonder if one can raise a child into becoming a therian? Like, if the (therian) parent influences them by animal behaviour..? And if it would be like that, would it be ethically ok?

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    Well of course I don't have children because I'm only 16 and not interested in having children of my own as a human, especially not until I'm at least in college. But I am the youngest sibling and have many neices and nephews and yeah, I like to act animal around them. It's really fun. I sometimes growl at them or act more animal without just playing around. We all pretend we are Pokemon sometimes, and my 3 year old neice says "I'm baby ninetails!" and I imagine her as a little vulpix XD

    If I do have kids they will probably be adopted because I don't want to go through all that as a human and I don't really like babies when they just lay around and do practically nothing. And besides, there are many children in foster homes that no one cares about :s

    I would probably dress my kids in animal costumes and animal shirts and stuff just for fun, and I'd probaby call them my pups just for fun too. I would definately keep them around animals and teach them how to be nice to animals from the start.

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    Over half our system is male in gender and because of that we find the female functions of our body, the idea of pregnancy, and the act of birth - completely foreign and outright disgusting to many of. For myself its actually so bad that I have outright phobias of sex, pregnancy, and even babies. (All three of those things literally do - freak me the hell out.) For all of us though, our species dysphoria also only adds to the weirdness.

    So because of this we are admittedly not having children. Its already known that my anxiety over the idea of pregnancy has lead me to have suicidal thoughts. I am plagued by nightmares constantly over the idea of pregnancy and I celibate (and will be for as long as our body is still fertile) despite my boyfriend. I am not human and I am not female - I couldn’t bare to go thought that.

    - Earth Listener

  9. #19
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    As a 17 year old girl I do not have children and will not for some time to come. But I think I can still add to this conversation.

    I've always had a lot of parental urges. I'm extremely protective and loving of my two younger cousins. I enjoy playing with them and being with them and always want to do what I can for them. However, I'm not nearly as fond of my younger brother. I've always wanted to raise him, that is enforce rules and duties, punish when necessary, etc. Although he's different in that he has multiple problems ranging from cleft lip, eye muscle issues, to being somewhere on the autism spectrum. He's not functional, really, and never will be. I live in a Catholic family though so it was always "be patient with him" and "he's getting better, just slowly" and "you have problems too". As the story goes, the moment he was born-before she even saw him-my mom knew there was something wrong with him.

    I hopeI have that instinct too because I don't want a kid anything like him or worse. I've always wanted kids and have been good with children; I take naturally to them, but the fact of the matter is I've never been okay with the seriously "special" kids (I hope that term isn't offensive, I'm taking it from the school program they're in: Special School District). I've always been uneasy around them, to this day I am, and I'm not going to lie, I'm fine with the way animals take care of that. In fact, a prominent figure of my childhood (a cat I talk about all the time, haha) probably did it to her own kitten; it wasn't even a week when my family couldn't find it around and figured she did what she had to.

    Having an ill child has always been a worry but another thing that's been on and off concern for me is the ability to have children. I'm already taking after my relatives who are unable to have children and going through the same physical problems they did. In a way, I find it to be a bummer, but at the same time birthing has always been something I don't feel comfortable with. I cannot imagine myself giving birth, however my biggest issue with it is what I've been told of how it goes at the hospital: IV's and shots and a bunch of scariness. I actually can imagine myself having a kid in a nice little place I prepared for myself, dealing with the pain on my own, cleaning up after on my own. But I know that if I do conceive one day that sort of thing could be dangerous since there are already issues there.

    My last point on parenting...I actually don't know if its related to being therian or not. The tendency I mentioned above about always having had the urge to be in control of the youngsters around me is not just for little relatives; I tend to want take on being parent for other people's children. Sometimes I even want peoples kids... Don't worry, I know it is NOT okay to peoples kids, but it is truthful how I feel sometimes. I'm especially dominant with older people when it comes to being in charge of kids. I don't really understand it and it used to get me in sooo much trouble with my mom.
    Sort of related to that, lately I've been having an intense urge to foster kittens (I don't want to keep them, just have them around till they're old enough to leave) but I feel like if I do that I'll get in Mama cat's way, haha.

    Right now I do want to have kids one day, probably via adoption. And once I'm on my own I just might foster kittens as well, or care for a feral colony as I've always wanted.
    “When a dove begins to associate with crows its feathers remain white but its heart grows black” ~German proverb

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  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mobius View Post
    I despise children. Even when I was one, I despised them. Unless a child shows an abnormal aptitude for a certain subject or seems intelligent, I avoid them at all costs.

    Having a child disgusts me even more, sadly. The thought of having raccoon kits hasn't bothered me in the slightest, but when I think of the human larvae we call babies, I am grossed out.
    Aye. Can't stand children either; I like kittens, but young children... the appearance as well as the behavior repulses me.
    "If you are worthy of his affection, a cat will be your friend but never your slave. He keeps his free will though he loves, and will not do for you what he thinks unreasonable; but if he once gives himself to you, it is with absolute confidence and fidelity of affection." -Theophile Gautier

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