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Thread: Depression, PTSD, ADHD, ADD,OCD, etc. Stories of how they affect your personal Life.

  1. #21
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    I genuinely feel for everyone here who suffers from anxiety. I don't, not naturally, I'm comfortable in my own skin, but anything more than the tiniest minimal dose of Ritalin for my ADHD makes me irrationally anxious, anxious at nothing at all and triggered by nothing but the drug itself. It's an awful feeling. Sometimes in the past I'd feel anxious around friends or other therians who were bullies, but these days such toxic people have nothing but my contempt. I can literally interact with a celebrity like Nick Cave without anxiety. Everyone is only "people" at the end of the day. People with their own fears and weaknesses.

    I used to be anxious that I was doing something wrong because of autism. These days it still happens at times, but generally I don't care as much, and if anything, I hold others responsible for politely pointing out my mistake or stepping in for me to make it easier. Communication is a two-way street.

    @Bloodmuffins: I can relate. My mother has full-fledged BPD. I have a few traits of the disorder that led my psychiatrist to mistake me for a sociopath with ASPD. Hardly. But I have fun playing the character because it demystifies sociopaths to me. I learn to understand. Those BPD traits fall under the umbrella of PTSD. They're still toxic, and I still need to heal myself.

    Wishing you the best.

  2. #22
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    I was diagnosed with Major Depression and anxiety after a friend found me in my apartment ready to off myself with my grandpa's handgun. Clearly, it didn't work, but after years of dealing with it (imagine growing up in a crackhouse with paranoid parents), I finally got the help I need. I don't believe it has anything to do with my theriotype as it was pretty clearly part of the environment.

    But that's my deal.

  3. #23
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    Clearly? Be happy it didn't work. I'm glad to have you around, BlueBelial!

    I've been there myself too you know and to this day I am very glad to have informed my parents about those sleeping pills I had taken one evening.

  4. #24
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    I must not have said it very well. I'm glad it didn't work, don't get me wrong! After finally getting help, I'm doing well.

    The thing that stopped me was a friend coming over uninvited (she had a key to my apartment). I still thank her to this day, and she hears about it every so often.

    "Clearly" was used in the sense that if it had worked, I wouldn't have been typing that reply.

  5. #25
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    Your point came across, don't worry. Still happy to have you around though. Your friend is your life-saver now. The fact that it didn't work is also partly thanks to yourself, so don't be too harsh on yourself now.

    It used to be common in therian circles to talk about theriotypes 'interfering' when suicide was about to be committed. I don't remember what they used to call this, but it's good knowing we have these 'guardian angels' watching our backs.

    EDIT:
    A walk-in, they used to call this. I don't know whether this term is still widely in use.
    Last edited by Lupus Ferox; March 16th, 2016 at 05:49 PM.

  6. #26

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    Necro-ing this, sorry.

    I'm currently professionally diagnosed major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder; I also have what I'm >90% certain is borderline personality disorder (It was on my chart to get a psychiatric rule-out test done for it when I was at the hospital, but the program was making my then-dangerous suicidality worse so I left and wasn't there long enough to get a diagnosis). I know some people are harsh on the idea of self-diagnosis, but I've done pretty extensive research using the DSM, academic/professional resources, etc. alongside more casually exchanging and comparing experiences with people diagnosed with BPD. I'm still seeking a proper professional opinion but currently lack access. I'm probably (still attempting to talk to a professional about this one too) autistic-spectrum. My old shrink wanted to get me tested for ADHD, too, but it was too expensive for me to afford. I also have problems with intrusive thoughts and body focused repetitive behavior compulsions.

    I've been trying to get this shit sorted out for quite awhile now but my folks wouldn't help me seek treatment when I was living with them, and now that I'm on my own it's been hard to afford treatment. I was seeing a psychiatrist and getting therapy through my university, but my mental health grew so poor that I dropped out. I need to get back into treatment as soon as I have the money; I self-medicate (legally) with small doses of kratom daily, and it helps stabilize my mood/keep anxiety at bay better than fluoxetine did but I still dearly need therapy because a lot of my symptoms and destructive behaviors can't really be medicated.

    The mental health system in the United States is some of the biggest bullshit I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing, between my experiences and the stories other folks tell me. I'm sure there's plenty of competent, caring, currently-informed mental health professionals out there (my first counselor/therapist at my university was fantastic and I was disappointed that she had to leave), but to find 'em you often have to wade through ableists, bigots, and/or baseless woo-woo.

  7. #27
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    I have;

    Asperger's (now classified is ASD)
    ADHD
    (mild) PTSD
    (severe) Anxiety/Panic disorder
    (controlled) Seizure Disorder
    OCD
    (severe) Depression.

    What I can control with medication, I do.

    However my fears I have felt for the last 19 years of my Therianthropy have not all left. The raw fears of my animality, and being a "savage beast", a killer "animal" are thoughts and ideas I cannot overcome as of yet. While medication controls the severe panic attacks, I still have strong anxiety.

    I fear that my life will always be plagued with these fears. I don't WANT to be a wolf, or a therian. Yet I want more than anything to shed my human body and mind and become a Mexican Wolf, body, mind, and soul.

    My life is a constant balance between desire, fear, and needs.

    So I live, and cope.

    -Azi

  8. #28
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    OCD is a real bummer, Azi.
    I remember the times well when I had first developed it. It started with the French teacher who got seriously ill, who was then replaced by a more inadequate teacher.
    Whole class just laughed at her and she couldn't hold a tight grip on it. I started to keep a tight schedule of learning and often skipped leisure time to study.
    As studying grew upon me, I forgot how to relax and OCD soon expanded into other features of my life, such as personal hygiene and you know, sort of everything.
    Most Asperger, ASD people also develop OCD in a way to cope with the future as an adult, and the fears that it brings along. Most younger adults are expected to start living a life of their own, and be more independent; things are getting complicated from then on. What used to be simple in the past, with parents looking after you, isn't simple anymore.
    I didn't even know I was autistic, only had a hunch of it, but it wasn't until the other symptoms kicked in that ASD became apparent.
    Long story short: fear I do not want in my life anymore and I'm doing much better than in the past.
    You'd better accept it, Azi. Who you are. I know for one that wolves aren't killing machines (that's merely human interpretation) and neither are you, but I understand where your anxiety comes from. You can't switch it off, you have to keep telling yourself time and again that you aren't a danger to your environment and though you keep telling yourself that, the discomfort is always around the corner.
    Have you tried writing your worries down? It may sound like idiocy, but sometimes writing your thoughts down in a schematic helps you to relax. Keep it close to yourself as well.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zami View Post
    I have Depression. I have PTSD. I am always very anxious. I have social phobia. All of those diagnosed. And I might have Asperger. This is currently in discussion.

    It impairs my everyday life. I drains me from my energy, from my motivation to do things. It makes me feel really Homesick. I cannot work. Sometimes (like today) I cannot even think straight.
    Sorry for the short post.
    Definitely Autistic/Asperger, with ADD, executive dysfunction, and other stuff. Still constantly exhausted, but now that I understand how I work better, I know how to not exhaust myself. I use sound and light protections (earplugs, sunglasses) often, manage my time in physical company of people, and it lowers the frequency of shutdowns and meltdowns (which used to be called "capricious behaviour" and "not giving a fudge" by people around me, to the point that I used to believe that I was that way...)

    I also have focal epilepsy, which makes me unable to drive as well as impairing my ability to think, react or talk, depending on the area affected. Also, sensory hallucinations (touch). Here again, it used to be brushed off by family or medics as me being out of shape/fat. Medication is refused to me because I manage to (barely) function even during a full crisis so I just don't drive anymore, look at the keyboard when I play videogames, and that's it.

    Some improvement: PTSD is almost completely treated by now.
    The avatar comes from HERE

  10. #30

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    ADHD here. I don't have a whole lot to really say about it. I've been on meds for it for a while now, which has helped me immensely to handle life more like someone who doesn't have it, but when I'm off them it feels like I'm vibrating internally and can't stop, and it keeps me from being able to settle down and do anything. It's a pretty awful feeling tbh, but some days I control it better than others, when I'm off my meds.

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