Depression, PTSD, ADHD, ADD,OCD, etc. Stories of how they affect your personal Life.

[DarkFox]

I had the same as you say here Jayhawker, the difference is I have the social anxiety diagnosed, now this lethargy is not usual then before so my life is turn back to normal. In my case, it influence but the opposite happens to. My depression and anxiety resides on my since my childhood but became worse when I start to deny that other side of me (I didn't know about that therian side yet this time, only that this was another side). Now, these disorders influence my relationship with my therian side. It was difficult for me to accept that the therian side is just me, one part of myself and not another me. So, it makes difficult for me to accept my therian side as a part of me and not a separated personality.

[Lupus Ferox]

I got diagnosed with autism and OCD at the end of secundary school and saw no reason to start over with school from that point onward. After secundary school, I spent three years indoors, without purpose or meaning to leave the house. Nowadays and thanks to therapy, I'm almost free of anything OCD related. I used to have intrusive thoughts and rituals that took hours to complete and still, I want to be in control of everything I say and do, but to some lesser extent. Life is worth living again. I'm not that obsessed with having to do things the 'right' way anymore. After all, doing things 'right', what does that mean anyway?
Autism however is still an issue, since you get that from birth. It seriously impacts social interactions and makes them more difficult.
I love writing emails for example, because when I see people for real, I have to take facial expressions as well as my language and theirs into account. The more people join the conversation, the tougher it gets for me to hold my head above water level. Too many impulses are troublesome when I'm involved, though I'm very good at analysing and watching situations from a distance (the ones that don't concern me).

There's plenty more, but I'm glad to have come so far already. Due to social anxieties, I've never taken public transport by myself, and Saturday past, I finally managed to catch a train. There's still room for improvement but I'm working on that as we speak.

[Kerguelen]

fuckin fucker

[Coyote Jones]

People seemingly out of nowhere and for no reason just turning on me. The constant fear that I'm doing something wrong, because most of the time I am.

Story of my life. I'll add that I wouldn't have suspected you, though. You seem pretty socially savvy, at least over text.

I find it interesting that so many therians, maybe the majority on Werelist, are on the autistic spectrum. I'm not sure what to make of it.

I probably have mild OCD, but I kind of ignore it. Touching things a certain number of times, etc. Doors and cupboards and kitchen drawers have to be fully closed, always.

[Kerguelen]

Story of my life. I'll add that I wouldn't have suspected you, though. You seem pretty socially savvy, at least over text.

I find it interesting that so many therians, maybe the majority on Werelist, are on the autistic spectrum. I'm not sure what to make of it.

Oh wow, that's cool. It takes me forever to figure out how I'm going to say things even in text, though. Sometimes I just write things the way they come to me and then edit from there, but that doesn't always work.

I've thought about that before. There's a correlation, alright. If they really have anything to do with each other is a completely different question that I can't answer, though.

[Kisota]

I'm starting to really think my anxiety could be diagnosed as a disorder. Apparently you have to hit the six-month mark of dealing with life-altering anxiety for it to be formalized as a diagnosis, though. I can't remember how long it was that I dealt with anxiety of this level back when I was a teenager... probably wasn't six months, but it could have been. I rode the medicine merry-go-round, trying to find things that worked without adverse side effects. I sought a school counselor (whose relationship with me my mother destroyed in an instant). I tried to learn management techniques like deep breathing and such.

I've dealt with generalized anxiety in varying levels for over a decade. Most of the time I do okay, although now I'm wondering if I actually am dealing with a still-disorderly level of anxiety most of the time, and am just used to it. It's something I'll have to ask a doctor about. I have anxious habits and definitely have a high-than-normal baseline of anxious feelings.

But it's been bad lately. I experience anxiety in a way that feels primarily physical, as though my body freaks out and my mind then gets worried about my body feeling weird.

Anyway, it's impacting my physical health lately and it blows. Propranolol used to help. I'll have to see about it again.

[R Swan]

In my family we avoid psychs like the black plague, so no one has any sort of diagnoses, but immense social anxiety is something that has shaped my behaviour permanently. I suspect it arose due to my...experiences in Danish school (rural backwater setting, my family being immigrants, me being a kid too bright for my own good, us being from Russia in a generally russophobic country...YOU DO THE MATH HERE, I won't say any more on this).
By the time I was starting in high school I was convinced people could read my thoughts and were constantly judging me, so in order to cope I adopted a pattern of outrageously ridiculous behaviour. Doing crazy shit, generally acting like a lunatic. A lot of my anxiety was basing in a fear of judgment and a persistent terror of embarrassment, so I did all sorts of kooky shit in order to just get the embarrassment out of the way, and also as a way to overload myself to be able to abstract away from it all.
Of course my parents, not understanding the reasons for it, much less what I did, would give me hell for it as well, which I'm sure was also part of fuelling it. To this day my mother will occasionally get on my ass, but I've grown a spine since my high school days and am not the slighest bit afraid to get really hostile and abrasive and tell her to fuck the hell off if need be, filial piety be damned. (For the record, I've lived far away from my parents since I was 19, and I live completely alone, which rocks).

By nature I'm very quiet and shy. Extremely withdrawn and introverted. I'll be happy to be completely isolated from people. However, in company I'm generally loud, jovial, foul-mouthed, irreverent, and seemingly off my rocker. I often make people laugh. It's all been a coping mechanism that I eventually settled into rather comfortably. I'm generally good at being funny, so I keep doing my shtick, and so far it's been getting me places reasonably well.

To this day I sometimes run into obstacles. For instance, something like making a simple phone call is...an immense task. A lot of anxious thoughts would fill my mind. What if they don't answer. What if I call the wrong number. What if I flub what I'm gonna say. What if they tell me to fuck off. What if this, what if that. What if the world was made of pudding. Going to the shop, a routine task, means getting prepared to venture outside. What if they look at me weird. What if they laugh. What if they think I'm hideous. What if someone calls the police on me for looking creepy. What if, what if, what if...
Any small task that requires interaction with people becomes a cyclone of "what if" and invisible walls. Because I don't think in a linear way or any way that can be represented in words, I'd often end up slurring words together or cluttering sentences badly, rendering them unintelligible, which I overcame by having a set of stock phrases I'd spout. I'm still not good at talking, but it can be offset a bit when I rehearse what I have to say, or if I manage to talk without thinking. (I guess it's like playing piano; when you think about it you start fucking up...)
Sometimes it's not even a matter of "what if"; I just literally can't perform the action in question. I can't push the "call" button. I can't go outside the door. I can't X, I can't Y. Thankfully, I'd mostly gotten rid of it all long ago; especially the "what if" bullshit. It DID return for a period a few years back, but it's mostly faded since then. The only thing that still causes me real trouble is phone calls. They're just a hard as fuck thing to make. Sometimes I just literally...can't. I feel like I deserve a medal or an award for just making those damn things...

[bloodmuffins]

To this day I sometimes run into obstacles. For instance, something like making a simple phone call is...an immense task. A lot of anxious thoughts would fill my mind. What if they don't answer. What if I call the wrong number. What if I flub what I'm gonna say. What if they tell me to fuck off. What if this, what if that. What if the world was made of pudding. Going to the shop, a routine task, means getting prepared to venture outside. What if they look at me weird. What if they laugh. What if they think I'm hideous. What if someone calls the police on me for looking creepy. What if, what if, what if...
Any small task that requires interaction with people becomes a cyclone of "what if" and invisible walls.

I feel this so much.

I have social anxiety disorder and overall high levels of anxiety in general. The general anxiety has gotten to a level where I feel it interferes with my life and causes me some distress, so I think it could be diagnosed as something. I'm just not sure what exactly. You'd think generalized anxiety disorder, but I feel that my symptoms don't match up with it all the way. So I don't know. I just know that I have way more anxiety than I should have and it totally sucks.

I also used to/probably still do have some form of depression. I was being treated for it for awhile around the end of high school, but stopped seeing my therapist when I had to reschedule an appointment (which goes back to the social anxiety and phone calls thing). I was fine for awhile, but I've noticed the symptoms come back on and off over the last few years. I've debated if I should see someone about it. I mean, I guess I probably SHOULD, along with talking to them about the anxiety thing, but actually doing it is another story.

I've also highly suspected that I have borderline personality disorder for the last five-ish years. At the very least I have borderline symptoms, if not the full-blown disorder. I've never seen anyone about it though. Again, related to social anxiety, I have huge fears of approaching a therapist and saying, Hey, I think I have this thing because I experience X Y and Z. What if they tell me I'm wrong? What if they think I'm stupid? Not to mention, I feel like BPD is seen as a "bad guy" disorder. People with BPD tend to act out and be difficult to deal with. I've seen so many books at Barnes and Noble aimed at helping significant others of people with BPD deal with having someone like that in their lives, but very few actually directed toward the BPD person themselves. I don't want to be seen as a bad person =\

But anyway, overall I think my anxiety stuff influences me most in terms of just being there most often and things I think about most.

[CaThRSys]

I feel this so much.

I have social anxiety disorder and overall high levels of anxiety in general. The general anxiety has gotten to a level where I feel it interferes with my life and causes me some distress, so I think it could be diagnosed as something. I'm just not sure what exactly. You'd think generalized anxiety disorder, but I feel that my symptoms don't match up with it all the way. So I don't know. I just know that I have way more anxiety than I should have and it totally sucks.

I too suffer from Social Anxiety (diagnosed General Anxiety disorder) which is crippling to any future personal growth. I find that it only manages to anger me and take a blow at my pride and selfesteem because I can’t get over this problem only causing more anxiety and the cycle repeats itself.

I also have depression, but it’s getting better with time, though I have been dangerously close to a relapse in December.

I've also highly suspected that I have borderline personality disorder for the last five-ish years. At the very least I have borderline symptoms, if not the full-blown disorder. I've never seen anyone about it though. Again, related to social anxiety, I have huge fears of approaching a therapist and saying, Hey, I think I have this thing because I experience X Y and Z. What if they tell me I'm wrong? What if they think I'm stupid? Not to mention, I feel like BPD is seen as a "bad guy" disorder. People with BPD tend to act out and be difficult to deal with. I've seen so many books at Barnes and Noble aimed at helping significant others of people with BPD deal with having someone like that in their lives, but very few actually directed toward the BPD person themselves. I don't want to be seen as a bad person =\

Are you sure we’re not related because that is very similar to how I feel. I have already have so many ignorant people around me see me as a monster for my past actions over the summer, and I don’t want that to be what they think of me when they hear my name….
Isn’t it funny when you fight back injustice that you are called a monster for how cruel they’ve shaped you…
But I was pushed to a point and it only takes one push to make me fall off the edge.
It’s come to the point where my own behavior disturbs me… it’s getting out of control…and sometimes I feel my sanity slipping with the stress... as if my own personal demons are back to bite me, fighting for control. I know form reading this this makes no sense to you guys, but it is the best way I can explain it….
I was treated for this with Prozac once… when I was hospitalized but it wasn’t for that… (My deviantart journals *user name Ghouletic* explains why) it only seemed to make sleep impossible and turned me into the T-1000 terminator. No emotion, just a machine.
Going there lost my faith in that kind of help….it makes you feel less than human. So I figured, the only way to live is to find my own guidance. The one thing I do have to say is that going there changed my outlook on life.

[Lupus Ferox]

About making phone calls... yes, they prove very troublesome indeed and I always remind people, beg people even to text me or write me an email because of the distress a phone call causes. I tend to jump out of my seat when the phone is ringing and have all sorts of excuses not to answer the call.
What if they don't understand a word I'm saying or what if I stammer when I respond?
A ringing doorbell is another very troubling experience for me, since I can't tell who's that person behind the door. Again I would make an excuse for not making it in time by telling myself I have to go the bathroom first to take a leak. This anxiety is actually killing me from time to time, so yes, I do understand what R mentioned earlier on.

I believe I discussed the matter on autism and therianthropy with Feuerfuchs a few months ago in hir blog. I don't know if anyone has had the time already to check it out? The first thing I noticed when I added otherkin friends to my list was that most of them got diagnosed with Asperger's at some point in life, so I'm pretty sure that the majority of otherkin/therians might have some form of autism.
Though I can't say for sure that these two conditions are related or that every otherkin/therian is autistic as well.