The road of life

Rate this Entry
I can't remember a day I was not worried about something. Most of the time, worried about nothing visible, nothing understandable, even for me. Always in alert, sneaking through the life, looking for something invisible for the eyes, or something nonexistent, imaginary.

In my child days I can't imagine I had a fox side, neither I had a werefox side or some animal side whatsoever, but I felt something strange in me. I wasn't dream about fantasy worlds, imaginary places, life in animal forms, no, because I felt my real life was a dream.

I couldn't understand how my body was moving, how could I control it. It was like I was trapped inside an incorrect body. For years I lived trapped in this fantasy dream of real life and every new day, more difficult it becomes. After some years my mind accepted it was the real life and I accepted everything around me as normal, even my reality being not normal. Living among others was very painful, stressful. For every new eyes I looked through, there were feelings, energies, such things I was not feeling ever, feelings that are not belonging me, but trapped inside me.

Such energies, consuming energies, makes me fear people, to stay more alert, paying attention to everything around me, seeking every lurking energy, feeling. Trying to run from things I could not see. There was not difference for me about good or bad feelings, everything makes me run. As I grew up alone, I think the werefox side helped me even I not knowing about him.

At some point in life, I start to see something more inhuman in me, much more animal, but I can't correlate what it was. There was the werefox helping me again to getting through the life, to know about those strange skills I have inside me. But the pressures of life forcing me to be more human, makes me deny all these and let the werefox, the powers, aside. But, it was impossible to let a therian side apart, it is you, it is always you. All your energy, all your mind, your spirit will search for completeness and your sense of "peace" will break down some day. When it happens, perhaps, you can find yourself finding who you are, what you are capable of.

But the road is long, difficult, almost unbeareble for someone to take. Your powers are useless, because you must understand them. And, sometimes, you also have a purpose in life, which must be fulfilled. Maybe a life long purpose, or, perhaps, a difficult but feasible purpose to accomplish. And when you accomplish it, your life go on, and the road continues. You cannot run away like before, even with fear. Even in pain, you must keep going. Give up is useless because it is just a restart, and all the way until here is walked in vain. You have an option, to burn everything in your anger, but for what cost? All suffer will return to you without any mercy and the pain will be unbeareble for you, so you will stop and wait for nothing.

In everywhere, you will find darkness, there is not a single place without shadows, the only way to keep on going is to light a spark and see your path ahead.
Tags: None Add / Edit Tags


  1. Gentle_Giant23's Avatar
    Wow, I actually relate a lot to this. When I was younger of course I had a different theriotype than I do now but I've like always felt like I was an animal.