You're breaking my heart, kid

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I went to the zoo today, Keke was mean to IRL baby Lopori and she hurt her finger bad.

It has just dawned on me that in all my years visiting the zoo I have never seen baby Lopori cuddled or groomed by an adult, they just allow her to be present at most. She gazes up at them instead. I hope she does get love and I’ve just missed it but honestly there is no evidence as of yet that thats the case. She needs love damnit. She needs a mum. Why can’t I fulfill that role? Why do I have to be a human watching her from afar powerless to do anything? Why do I have to be go home and break my heart over her everyday? I wish she could atleast read my mind so she knows someone cares that much about her like a mum would.

Other juveniles in her family have mums who are always there, always ready to give affection. But they have no time for baby Lops heir hands are full. Sure she plays with the other kids and she is doing a lot better nowadays than when I first met her, I have seen her GG rub with Banya a couple times, but there is still something missing. You can tell by the way she interacts with adults, she cowers, she screams for no reason, she doesn’t let anyone steal her straw comforter. She is too nervous to open up to other bonobos and they get frustrated with her so she gets picked on. She’s not had a good start to life at all and I can feel her loneliness when she lays on her straw bundle watching the adults groom eachother. I feel her loneliness so strongly it physically hurts.

I know she will stick up for herself one day, I believe in her, she’s come a long way already. It’s just sad that she has to do it pretty much alone, she’s having to grow up so fast. I do long for the day where she foregoes the straw comforter altogether socialises with the confidence and normality of her peers. When she takes no shit. When she can finally dominate the males who once dragged her around the enclosure. I want her to leave Twycross in some years time and enter a new group a well adjusted young lady. I just hope not too much of her upbringing sticks, you see how children in foster care deal with it growing up. The same applies to non-humans too.

I scribbled this at the zoo today. This is what I should be doing, what my instincts are telling me to do.
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Updated May 16th, 2016 at 07:46 PM by Lopori



  1. Kerguelen's Avatar
    I just hope not too much of her upbringing sticks, you see how children in foster care deal with it growing up.
    I had a friend in middle school who grew up in foster care. We eventually drifted apart, as it seems a lot of middle school friendships do. Moved away, moved on.

    I decided to track her down recently and I found she's with a 42 year old man and already has a child. She's 19. And, most importantly, doesn't sound at all happy with the situation.

    It just reminded me. Seeing that makes me wish I had kept in touch more. Though now it would be weird to pop in.

    It has nothing to do with this post but it reminded me, it really can screw people up.