Elaphos

Humanity, Misanthropy, and Me

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Over the past few years I've had a major shift in how I see and feel about humanity. When I was younger I loved humans, or thought I did, and would see the best in them and considered them, as well as other living beings, as having inherent worth just by existing. I opposed edgy hatred of humans strongly. No doubt that influenced the chain of events that led to me to my current position, which is a misanthropic one. It's like a childlike wish for the embrace and empowerment of being part of a proactive, involved community, but finding that humans are abusive, small minded, and generally not all they're cracked up to being, so it may be that my misanthropy is rooted in disappointment and disenchantment. It's usually triggered by unnecessary aggression, disempowering competition, dishonest tactics and people's ignorance about very simple things that they wouldn't be ignorant about if they'd bother to look it up, pay attention, or self reflect.

When I say misanthropy I mean I usually have an asocial aversion to humans with periods of antisocial hatred of them and the society they're a part of. During those times it's most easy for me to detach from feeling human because in my mind, the definition of human narrows to how these particular (but numerous) people behave and I don't relate to them as a human at all or understand how humans could possibly be so extremely thoughtless and intentionally dishonest and still live with themselves. In other words they're so far from what I am as a human that they almost feel like another species of human.

Of course I try to push those thoughts out of my mind and come back to reality. Dehumanization is a dangerous road to go down. The misanthropy lingers though because even though I have these surface feelings of rejection towards these people, I know they are humans and that humans can be conditioned to act all kinds of ways. I think unless there's a major societal change, that misanthropy will be there for me because I find people to be barren, infertile ground because I want to be cooperative and social, and most people operate under an extremely individualistic, competitive world view that causes me to run into trouble when I try to be myself with people who seem focused on eating each other alive.

I think this is also related to why I feel put off by wolf kin who take hierarchy and status too seriously. I didn't and still don't really care about those things and to me they come off as insecurity. Needing to be or feel superior translates to a "truth" of inferiority to me.

Which brings me to another reason I rejected misanthropy based on having a nonhuman identity. To me it cheapened the meaning of my identity to use it as a way to detach from my humanity and that's what I felt like other therians and otherkin were doing. Just escaping. So I went the opposite direction of making a point to acknowledge and prioritize my own humanity and recognize it as also animal and not an idealistic thing. Again, that led me to sympathize and not judge people too much based not on sheer kindness but in the awareness that they, like me, are animals who function as a human animal would. So that had become my main rational defense against letting myself get lost too far in misanthropic thoughts while also being low key a misanthrope because of it.

My expectations of humans are low and that can be a good and bad thing for me. It means that I'm not quick to judge and feel somewhat indifferent to people and less pressured to play along with emotionally neediness or the like, but it also means I struggle to connect emotionally to people. Because an emotional connection is either based in idealizing someone or truly relating with them. I find that often, people are so focused on their status or conditioned to behave competitively, or are idealizing my own behavior towards them as an exceptional kindness rather than the acceptance that it is, that they tend to resist connecting on a real level. In fact I've gotten close to a few people who seemed afraid of what it meant for them to connect with me, a person of lower status. Those relationships didn't end well.

I should probably wrap this up. This isn't meant to come to any conclusion but just put into words some of my feelings about humanity and the evolution of my views of humans.

Updated October 21st, 2019 at 02:15 PM by Elaphos

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  1. cheetah's Avatar
    I think the sort of misanthropy you talk about makes a great amount of sense, and while I can't empathize that strongly with wanting to be part of an involved community--while it's been something I've desired, it's always been strongly counterbalanced by my introverted tendencies--I do get being so exasperated with society as a whole that you get fed up with the majority of the human species. The two really aren't separate, after all.

    Mostly, I try to deal with it by reminding myself that regardless of whether or not I personally like most people, I'm stuck with them. And just because I don't like most of them doesn't mean that they're of no worth.