irritatedandroid

Well hey. I know I'm not often good at checking in. I try.

Life's been very busy! My career's back running at the mercy of another potential lockdown, and busy season has been a chaotic and disorganized mess. If I wasn't a freelancer I'd be making so much overtime from the past 2 months... But it's nice to be back. It's consistent enough I'm taking a risk and packing myself up to move back to the city - just waiting for a text from the realtor on if these landlords think I'm good enough for their so very luxurious basement apartment or not.

I'm tired, hah.

I'm also single now, after 4 years. That's one thing that prompts you to reconsider and re-center yourself in your identity, leaving the person who's been your world for a few years. That person was never pleased with my identity to begin with, in multiple ways, so oh well. Prioritize yourselves and your needs, friends, there's plenty of humans in this world. Likely too many. I say, moving back to a dense urban area.

Identity is still a mess, experience and such. Animality, reptile-ness. A fiery mess of mythical and fictional wildness. For a few months I've been questioning some sort of theriomythic identity tied to canine feelings and demon alignment. Hellhound. Dog with problems and serious fire. Still spending months grappling with if I've dug up something innate in myself, or just created some form of copinglink tied into my questioning wolf-heartedness and existing fire association that is too deep-rooted for me to get rid of now. At least get rid of without causing some serious destabilization and inconsistency to my sense of self and description of life experience.

Run on sentences, aie. Did I mention I'm tired?

Aggressively checks my phone for a realtor's text.