Werewolf diaries

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Just thought to create my own blog, I am just interested in how this works. I am currently at odds and ends with my therianthropy, still trying to work out the bugs and think that I keep jumping from one theriotype to another to see on what fits me, you know? It would be nice if I find out that I am not a therian after all though, I know so many people think it's awesome to be one but I am striving in this world to be as "normal" as one can be (what really is normalcy anyway?) so I don't know.

I am currently enamored by those who are multiples, it must make it seem weird and I keep thinking of those who are multiples are like Cybil, you know? I know that can be offensive and I do apologize but I guess it's because I have a hard time of understanding.

I wish I was as open as many of the members here, though. I tend to have a real low tolerance for those who feel the need to be superior to others but maybe that's because I have both a superiority and inferiority complex. I just wish I had the maturity to really accept people at their core, to talk to those who amuse me to the point where I act like such an asshole to them because it's fun. Yeah I know, I am a troll here, I am sure there are those that hate me, it happened like that on Awereness Forums when it was up (and I was Ariana) and it most likely will happen here. Despite having an A in Interpersonal Communication, I fail at it, much like a lot of things.

I would appreciate more friends though but being burned in the past by so many has left me rather hesitant. We'll see how it goes, though. I am also afraid of going to the Werelist chat room because I know I'd get kicked out of it but I just don't want to get into "live" debates with people because that tends to aggravate me. I'd rather just take my time with them here, even if I am not too good at them, heh.

Updated July 18th, 2015 at 12:20 PM by Alliana

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  1. TopBrass's Avatar
    The new blog functionality is pretty nice. That said, I think it's ok to not have all the answers. There does seem to be kind of an unspoken expectation that after a certain amount of time you have everything figured out, but sod that. People often become preoccupied with labels, but sometimes it's more helpful to not worry about them and just be yourself, and if you do find a certain label that fits what you are and what you experience, then all the better.

    I also have problems being open. Bad experiences, and such. It's a weight that I try to overcome, but it still colors my interactions whether I like it or not. I have problems with social anxiety, which kind of compounds the problems. It is what it is I suppose. I don't think anyone hates you though, seriously!

    As a side note, I have no idea who/what Cybil is, but I share your confusion on multiplicity.

    Also, holy crap. You were Ariana the Odd? That really takes me back to the old days. I seem to remember that you wrote all your posts in a colored font; maybe it was pink. I wasn't a member then, but I was a lurker.
  2. Alliana's Avatar
    Heh, nah, Ariana the Odd wasn't me. I was just Ariana on The Awereness Forums. Cybil is a movie dealing with a woman's story who was in real life had MPD whom her therapist tried to reconstruct her identity into one being (reintegrate anyway). I can't remember how it ended but Cybil's mom was a nasty one! It makes you feel uncomfortable all the trauma she put her child through. But yeah, you're right, I shouldn't focus on labels so much but I find labels to be rather...comforting, I guess. It adds structure to an otherwise chaotic world (I do love structure!) but yeah, it can be problematic at times, I agree.

    Hehehe yeah, I hope no one hates me. I guess I am just trying to find a place to belong like everyone else here and sometimes I tend to rub people the wrong way, which I guess is okay but I truly do hate conflict. Every time I start up something here thru rebutting someone's post, I am always afraid of coming back because of how arrogant I come across on. I really need to rein that in but I have no idea how, especially with my bad ADD. I am glad I am not alone in the social anxiety field, I have to take medicine for that or else it gets overwhelming and I just shut down thru a panic attack.

    But yeah, it is pretty nice, this blog. I hope to use more of it in the future!
  3. TopBrass's Avatar
    Hmm. Come to think of it, I do remember another Ariana, but nothing other than the name.

    I have a pretty fiery temperment. It's easy for me to get into arguments and look like an ass, even when I go into situations knowing my limitations. The only surefire solution I've had is to just avoid situations where it comes up in the first place, both online and off; but it's not really a solution at all and creates more personal problems than it solves. You are certainly not alone.
  4. Alliana's Avatar
    That does indeed make me feel better to know that I am not alone. I will try your advice and avoid those situations but sometimes people are just way too easy to goad, you know? But yeah, that was me at Awereness forums, just plain old Ariana, hah. I just would get into a big whole stinking fight about people acting like kids can see ones theriotype when kids actually live in a fantasy world and shouldn't be counted on for that. God, I hated that argument, got into a big fight with Jakkal there and luckily, she didn't ban me for it (which I find surprising but it's probably due to me amusing her). I just will try to avoid such things in the future. Plus, it's much more fun to watch the mods deal with the troublemakers than to be a troublemaker myself. I always considered you to be the logical sort, I am glad you came back after some time of being gone!