DarkFox

A litttle about my therian self, or how I discover I was in a different body

Rate this Entry
Hello dear fellows,

I've written a little about myself as a therian and my perception of how I realize I am a therian. It has a little about spiritual things I believe. In fact I have some scattered memories about my past life but I can't write them all yet, my mind simple just let me do this.
Also I've written this first in portuguese because I decide to let my mind flow more with more freedom and I know it can be better done with your native language. So, some things I might edit from the original but I not removed any essential part.

I am human, but not in totally. My body and physiology is human in fact, but my mind, my soul and spirit are not. I will not tell about where I am from neither how I came here, I am just describe myself and how I feel. Before of being a human, I was a fox, but not just a small fox as we saw here on Earth. In fact, I had a body similar to the human body but the physiology is very similar to the fox one, with fur, tail, muzzle, pointed ears and claws on hands and feet. As an human, I lived there before, much like the same, but, of course, some things was different, the way of think, act, and even the way the body acts was different from human. Well, when I came to here, everything come with me, except my body.

At the beginning, and a long after, I don’t realize that fact and follow the natural course of life for a human. I had a common childhood and even with some family problems, I do not had any traumas or other kind of problems. I had a common childhood, at least for others point of view. For me, the childhood was a really strange thing. First it takes a little longer for me to realize I was a living being and after that I cannot recognize myself as a living being but a controlled being, thinking how the body was moving while I was thinking. I always asked myself if when I slept with this body I will awake somewhere as a living being. Sometime after I realize that is my body and started to explore it, just for curiosity. Luckily I did not over explored it due to my sense of pain, such a thing that became irrelevant within time.

Also, I started to explore my emotions, and I realize that the environment there was a well known for me. My mind, my emotions, something very familiar, even I am not remembering anything about who I am neither what I am. But that place was not so welcoming in that way. Even living some time before, my mind was a child yet and it cannot access all of the stuffs out there, luckily. And, there are some stuffs that should never be accessed, that is why you are supposed to not remember anything about who you was on past lives. Time is going and I living new emotions and my human body passing through transformations while my mind slowly allowing me access to new stuffs. From child to teenager and from teenager to adult, my body was grown and with it my unsatisfied instinct of a humbling spirit, there was the fox coming out. Well, for every new thing enabled, my mind gave it a function from my fox self from before, being it physical, mental or emotional. The ability to became invisible in the crowd and to not be noticed, to live with solitude well, some aggressivity and some fury, and the sexual behavior. There I was, an intense puberty in solitude with much more to come. My spirit bring extra luggage to this side. My other abilities from me from before came to here also, as stains in my soul, flooding my body and my mind as poison. The depression and anguish which was my companion before, came to this world. Also, the ability to connect with energy from others stills here with me. Every energy from people, even good or bad, my soul can absorb, but it cannot have the control to heal or to damage itself.

Now, what rests to me is the instinct and the feeling of the being of an existence before this existence. When I close my eyes I can mentalize and see my earlier self, even for a moment. Sometimes I can feel the body, the fur, tail and ears, as my body had that form again. I have some improved senses yet, mostly sound and smell. I can smell a lot of different things, especially from my body and clothes, due to proximity, smells that anyone can smell. I can smell things on other people and things too, and normally this is how I determine if I bare stay in a close room with a specific smell of if I can eat something. The best of the smells is some biological smells, like the ones from animals, even humans. It is incredible to know even today humans still smells different when they need to do sexual stuffs. My ears are not super powered in that way, but I can hear some unhearable sounds. This is mostly a problem than a solution. This can be mess up with my focus, because I can only focus on only one sound at a time, so other sounds will be nullified and be muted in my mind. Another instincts are also present like my unsual way to dry myself after a bath by shaking, the strange desire of biting my guinea pig and some stuffs like that.

That's it folks, hope you have enjoyed. Feel free to comment about this little story of myself.

Updated December 1st, 2015 at 06:32 PM by DarkFox

Tags: None Add / Edit Tags
Categories
Uncategorized

Comments