The Daily Groan (A thread to ease your pain) - The 3rd!

Ended up in urgent care AGAIN, for inflammation on the OTHER hand, which seemed to be worsening! (In addition to some on the other hand and on my face). My colleagues insisted, since we’re traveling again this week and would prefer not to have to make trips to clinics after work again.

The best guess of the doc and me is that photosensitivity from one of the antibiotics I was on for the lymphatic infection meant that I got fuckin’ sizzled driving my car. Why exactly the hand seemed to be worsening we’re not sure, but it doesn’t look infected.

The photosensitivity can last a week after being on this antibiotic, so I’m going to have to be extra careful with fieldwork this week, which is also going to be more challenging between the bandaged hand and the continuing tendinitis.

Hope ya'll recover well. Have had similar experiences, ain't fun.



... Plenty to bitch about on my end but no energy to do so. Suffice to say stressful month. Be nice to put at least one really solid win on the board this month but seems like the world is working against me most days.

HID lights in cars (including certain LEDs) should be fucking illegal. I am tired of being absolutely blinded at night by a car behind me who's lights are reflecting in all my damn mirrors. Incoming cars with HIDs are no better. Car lights don't need to be brighter than the fucking sun!

Went through the trouble of leaving town today to see family this weekend and attend my aunt's university graduation. I found out on my way over that I wasn't actually welcome to attend the graduation, even though I was invited, because my grandfather is embarrassed to have me attend due to me being trans.

That was sure frustrating. Suppose I'll go walk around the abandoned POW camp outside of town with my camera instead. Could be more interesting.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by irritatedandroid

Went through the trouble of leaving town today to see family this weekend and attend my aunt's university graduation. I found out on my way over that I wasn't actually welcome to attend the graduation, even though I was invited, because my grandfather is embarrassed to have me attend due to me being trans.

That was sure frustrating. Suppose I'll go walk around the abandoned POW camp outside of town with my camera instead. Could be more interesting.

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Sounds about as amazing as having to be dishonest with your grandparents about your sexuality lest ye bet cut out of their will, or not being "acceptable" enough to be invited to any family gatherings.


Don't let the bastards get you down.

....
My mate was rear ended by some jackass that was most likely texting and driving, car is probably totaled. At least he wasn't hurt very badly. I want to go settle the score in person but I need to let due process take it's course, lucky guy... cus the courts will be more lenient on you than I would be.

Been having a lot of body image issues ranging from dysphoria to just weight issues to health issues. Which has then led to a lot of self-esteem issues. And feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence in the bedroom. My psychiatrist either left the practice I go through, or she was fired back in Feb but the office only let me know two days before my appointment was supposed to be two months after the fact. Then they switched companies, and it's all just a cluster fuck and they cancelled my therapy appointment. So now I'm looking for a new practice to work with. But finding someone competent in both transgender issues and the kink/poly scene is a nightmare. The nearest one is like an hour away. Fortunately they also do remote sessions so beyond the initial intake visit, I can just do that. But it's still a bitch and a half having to navigate all of this while also not being fully capable of affording to do all of this.

The cold I got at the end of May was very predictable in that it went to my lungs as asthmatic bronchitis. So that's been greatly affecting my energy levels, my sleep, and my ability to stay active. Unless I want to pass out from coughing for 5 hours straight.

I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and I hate feeling like shit the last few months.

Just a personal rant here..

Thinking about how this human world has made me, personality wise, a bit different outwardly versus my prior lives..
Nature but a whole lot of nurture--this world has made me too emotionally perceptive and in some ways anxious. Some people appreciate that. I do not particularly enjoy it. How one grows up can definitely a stumbling block (or stepping stone...stumbling block for me). Add to that a few years bout of depression, which was beat, but it still changed me outwardly. This was not a situation in prior times...I just want the nurture of 'nature vs. nurture' in my life to go away. I wish for my true self back to the fullest, and not suppressed so much. It's unfortunate that it feels like it's slipping from me time and time again. I've been expected to act a way for so long, that my only true intentions come in thoughts, mental shifts, dreams and the like- not often as outwards expression. I have such hesitation in this area- mostly because the majority of human society nor family would tolerate it. Keeping mellow has gotten me to good areas in life, yes, but it has always had its consequences. It can be conflicting, it is dysphoric inducing distress at times that no one ever gets to see.

I think it's also eating me up on the inside (in which I might have mentioned a while back) but zhuards were made to mimic. Mimic, but not completely become something else. The species was almost lost that way. Metaphorically, I'm in that exact position. I'm becoming internally conflicted with my true thoughts and desires as kin, and living day to day as a human who is perceived as quite fair-weathered. Conflict is not addressed the same for my kintypes versus people- it gets lost in translation. The disconnect results in me being agreeable because I don't have the means to take up conflict with the shrewdness zhus have. The boldness of a human is not quite the same (because there's always strings attached), and again things get lost in translation. Years and years of this and I've taught myself that this is me now. No...It never was, nor is. I have to break this, but at what cost?

Hope you get better soon, Anuolf.

Basically ever since I got back, I've been low on energy. It's not a physical illness; it's not that I've been infected with some tropical disease--it's just the normal (for me) ups and downs of life. This actually happens a lot for me. Little depressive episodes, I suppose. Normally, I don't mind them too much. This one, though? Couldn't be timed worse if it tried. There is quite a lot I wanted to get done when I got back.