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Thread: The Daily Groan (A thread to ease your pain) - The 3rd!

  1. #741
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
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    Tennessee, USA
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    I am getting beyond tired of these dreams I keep having taunting me with a world that can't exist. One where I, or others can transform into critters, or werewolves. Therians, or just anyone with this ability in dreams. I keep having these and each morning I wake up with more and more Species Dysphoria.

    That along with my various health issues; from a 4th year of Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, to Sinusitis, and my usual body pains ("Slight" scoliosis, to losing cartilage in my knees, arthritis. I'm not seeking pity. But these things just keep adding up.

    Add to all of this my home life with my Borderline mother has gotten to worse levels in decades. Cops being called by both of us (nothing physical), lawyers, etc. The verbal abuse there never ends. My state could give a shit. I called Crisis once and they said; "We can only help you or your mother, if you or she are a harm to yourself/herself or others". I was like Fuck. It's a waiting game now, til she's put in a nursing home (shes 77), or dies.

    I don't usually post here in this thread. But my morning dream of folks that had the ability to turn into, or create a copy of themselves as a critter kicked my Species Dysphoria into overdrive. I didn't get up til about 9:45 am. I went to sleep last night watching Battle Dogs. Deep sighs. Oh well... Hope everyone else gets/feels better too.

    Azi

  2. #742
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
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    I'm mentally revisiting older posts and wishing I'd had the ability to read the subtext before commenting. I made some things about me without intending to. I was trying my best, though...

  3. #743
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    Sep 2009
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    The West
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    Really concerning health problems in the immediate family. My family is so spread out that none of us can really be present to help out.

    And some crazy neighbor is being a bully, accusing my family member of lying and faking illness. I don't get angry very easy... like, at all, pretty much ever.

    But I'd give that lady a fuckin' earful. True cruelty on display from her, and I'm too far away to protect my loved one.

  4. #744
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    Northern California
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    As usual everything is burning in the state of California. The fires aren't close to us this time, but the smoke is horrendous. It's been giving me sinus headaches for about a week now, irritating my allergies and forcing me to stay indoors.

    I guess this is where all those masks come in handy because I can wear one when I go out to get the mail, take garbage out, etc. It cuts down on the pollution that gets into my lungs, but still it would be nice to see something other than smoke when I look out the window.

    It would also be nice if I could lay down without making my sinuses hurt more.
    Last edited by Hazel Moon; August 2nd, 2021 at 06:28 PM.
    We share our physical lives with those in spirit. For life, like love, never dies.
    Love knows no limits, not even death.

  5. #745
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
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    Ontario, Canada
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    My senior dog was put down on June 28th, the day I started my current job. Had him taken off to the vet for the last time while I was sitting in a staff meeting with my new coworkers. Have not had time to mourn that as I've been pedal-to-the-metal busy with this absolute insane job.

    No time to mourn, and my senior cat got put down 3 days ago, when I was putting on a smile for my brother's birthday. Both of them lost to age and arthritis.

    The joys of being a cynical adult watching his childhood pets reach the end.
    Jasper - He/him - 24
    Alolan Marowak Fictherian - Dragon-Hearted
    Wildly curious and here for a good time.

  6. #746
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Bay Area
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    1,253

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    Jasper, I am so sorry to hear about your recent losses. I also recently experienced the death of my dog, and I have never felt grief like this before. I can only imagine how devastating it would be to lose two pets in such quick succession. I really hope you're able to find time/space to let yourself mourn and feel whatever feelings come up during the grief process <3 (And if you need someone to talk to, I'm here.)

  7. #747

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    Sounds like it's been a carnival of death this summer for some people here. Very sorry to hear it.

    For me, the pain of a lost pet never really goes away. Of course, you eventually move on; forget, so far as your daily experience goes, but it can come back like a lightning bolt in an instant no matter how many years have passed. I've lost five pets in my lifetime, the oldest about 15 years ago. It's still upsetting to even think about, but I think despite the misery that thinking about their loss inflicts, the positive time we had together infinitely outweighs it.

    My Grandmother died February of last year. I have really only begun to be fully hit by this fact recently. It's difficult, but death is an inevitable part of life. I wish I had some suggestion, some magic bullet that could help take the pain away, but I don't. It's something I struggle with myself at times.

  8. #748

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    I've been in a rather dark place lately. Usually I don't post things like this on the internet but from what I've seen, everybody here is kind and helpful.

    I was recently diagnosed with Graves Disease. It's had some pretty terrible effects on my body. I could go on all day long about the side effects. Some of them really are quite awful. I've dealt with a fogginess in my head, a fatigue, for, I'd say around seven years at this point. However when it first started out, it wasn't nearly as bad as it is now. These days it's just plain exhaustion. I can't really go more than a few hours without needing to take a three plus hour long nap. And when I wake up, even still I'm exhausted. I've never felt refreshed and well rested after waking up. I used to be able to at least remember the feeling of being energized and happy, but now, no matter how hard I try, I can't.

    I honestly don't know if all of this is related to Graves, I do think it may have something to do with "background stress" which I guess I could describe as my emotions becoming so dull that, even though the stress is there, I just don't feel it. Or maybe I'm just crazy. I've been told that more than once.

    I missed nearly a year of school because of it. I was so agitated and couldn't bring myself to focus no matter what. It had been going on for years at that point but that was when I broke. My grades had never been good, because I just can't focus through all of the fog in my head. I either did the work and got everything wrong or just didn't do it at all.

    This year is going to be my final year of high school. My fatigue has gotten so bad since I was last there, I don't know how I'm going to make it through this time around. I wish I could find some kind of relief, but at this point I've just accepted it as something that I'll have to deal with. No doctors really show interest in helping me. Well, maybe a few. But of course, they have many other patients to tend to in much worse shape than little old me. It's understandable.

    Another thing that concerns me is the fainting. On August 2nd, just a few weeks ago, I was about to start my first (ish) job. Nothing too fancy, just cleaning an old motel. Last year I briefly did maintenance at a local park, but the season ended rather quickly because of cold snaps and such. I was in much better shape health-wise back then, so I was able to work in the sun for a while. Yeah, it made me miserable, but it didn't put me in danger. Anyways, back to the "new" job. As I was being told what to do, I started to feel sick. Next thing I knew, I woke up on the floor with a pain in the side of my head and everyone hovering over me. I can't believe I passed out on my first day on the job. I'm too embarrassed to even show my face there again. I've passed out on other occasions. But all mostly in my own house. I don't know if it's from the fatigue of the medication or something else. But I was told it would be too dangerous for me to work. Which disappoints me most of all.

    I'm kind of at a dead end right now, waiting for a miracle to happen I guess. I've been waiting for years. There isn't really much else I can do. As I was reading through one of the other threads about which aspects would surprise our younger selves, I thought about this. When I was little I would have never imagined that I would have to deal with this. Sometimes I wonder what I could be doing if I were healthier. Maybe alternate universe me plays a sport, or is able to drive. I hope that someday I will start to feel better, so that I can do everything I missed out on in my teenage years.

  9. #749

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse Fiain View Post
    I've been in a rather dark place lately....

    Hey bud, sorry about the rough news I know it must feel like a punishment being diagnosed with a chronic illness but that kind of thing isn't your fault, don't fall into the habit of laying that guilt on yourself. From experience I can tell you it is hard to see a way out when your stuck at the bottom of a pit but don't fool yourself, what you see now is not indicative of what is on the horizon it is just what is visible to you right now. On a somewhat positive note at least you may have an answer and an answer is a big step towards hopefully improving your situation. Medicine isn't as exact a science as medical practitioners like to purvey, everyone reacts differently to treatments and it may take some time for them to hone in on how the condition affects you in particular and the best way to go about treating it.


    I hope you haven't found yourself in a similar situation too frequently where your passing out, that sounds like a really rough day passing out on the first day of a job. I usually just make an ass of myself without missing a beat so at least your technically innocent of any transgression other than a little embarrassment and at least there were people nearby that could render aid. Sometimes you just have to take the small wins and leave it at that, fretting it ain't going to do much for you except push your stress level up even higher. Just some advice on the doctors though, had a fair bit of dealings in my days there as well. Their busy people a lot of times they are seeing a patient every fifteen minutes or so, this doesn't mean they don't care or that your situation isn't in need of attention, they think in triage mode worst problem first so you need to be assertive about your needs and situation with them to ensure you get the care you need, if you get put on the side burner but deteriorating make sure they know that and what is not working for you. Communication, big time.


    Won't blow ya up with a wall of text but I figured I ought to chime in and at least let you know your frustrations aren't unheard, nor unappreciated and either way sending some positive mojo your way, hoping you feel better soon.
    Last edited by Koba; August 25th, 2021 at 08:12 PM. Reason: spelling

  10. #750

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    Quote Originally Posted by TopBrass View Post
    ...... the pain of a lost pet never really goes away. Of course, you eventually move on; forget, so far as your daily experience goes, but it can come back like a lightning bolt in an instant no matter how many years have passed.
    Ain't that the truth. Stings like a sunofabitch too.

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