This should be fun for anyone else in this predicament. (or not) I have been in a terrible pickle with music right now. To understand my quarrel, I must explain what has been going on with me lately, so excuse the slight ventiness of this post. After my breakup in August of last year, I was in a pretty shitty place, and still am, as I imagine I will be for a few years, unfortunately. I have found a new love interest, but we agreed it was to be a temporary experience in order to help her through the Winter (she has SAD disorder) and help me heal my heart. If it becomes something more, we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Basically, I think we are already crossing that bridge, and I am not sure if I want to be or not. Having been through breakups that sent me into immense depression, I would hate to hurt her as I have just recently been hurt. Moreover, I do not know if the "love" is real or not. I am contemplating the validity of love, the risks of it, and a host of other things I do not know if I can put my finger on.

I am trying to explain these feelings to her in a way that will not hurt her, but while I want to let those things flow slowly, I want them to swell in my mind like a violent river, and being a "slave" to music, I want to let my mind cry out to itself in song. But what do I listen to?? How do I convey all that I am feeling to myself in a way that sounds legitimate? The closest I think I have come was With or Without You, by U2, but that felt (for lack of a better word) in what it can convey, only affirming one answer to the problem, that I cannot live with or without you, that our love is impossible in the end, but I feel incomplete not having it, when I do not know if it is real or not. I cannot see a future, but could there be one I have yet to see? Is it livelong? Is it not? I do not know. What can I use to scream these thoughts to myself until I no longer want to think them or the answer comes? Walk Away by Five Finger Death Punch (my favorite ballad) also does not work for similar reasons, and Five for Fighting's Superman (what I am listening to now) is too general (or specific) a lament to hit the mark. And What is Love by Haddaway is out of the question, because I cannot take it seriously due to the "Don't Eat the Mushroom" craze on YouTube.

I imagine I am not the only one to have felt this way before, (that being that you feel a certain way, and you do not know what song can best explain how you feel) so by all means, use this thread to request the same help. I suggest explaining the feeling, (more or less venty, what ever works for you) listing songs that you have already tried and why they did not work, and if necessary, a genre (or a few) to operate within.