Therian Daily Thought - The 5th!

[Kisota]

I'm calling it: Weird Al is a coyote.

Ha! Definitely. I’m throwing Eric Andre in that category too.

[bloodmuffins]

I have been having so many therian daily thoughts these last few months lol. My identity has felt so much more salient, and I feel really confident in myself as a dingo again, which is nice. It's also been interesting to explore the intersections between my therian and other identities/experiences, particularly spiritual and queer. I hope to get my thoughts more in order and make and/or necro some threads about the things I've been thinking about.

[bloodmuffins]

Recently I've been having way more phantom limb experiences, especially ears, tail, and paws. So I've also been wearing a tail a lot more, which has been so nice. Today I was petting the tail and was able to feel my tail being pet, which was cool and not something I think I've experienced before. Usually my tail is more vague, but this felt the same as having my arm or something touched/pet.

[House of Chimeras]

We get a chance to legally change our name (first, middle, and last)! ... and promptly fall into a crises of questioning if the name we've had in mind for *years* (and a first name that we've been using at work for over 5 years) IS the right choice and what we 'really want.

Oh hello anxiety. Wish you weren't here.

- Sky Singer

[bloodmuffins]

We get a chance to legally change our name (first, middle, and last)! ... and promptly fall into a crises of questioning if the name we've had in mind for *years* (and a first name that we've been using at work for over 5 years) IS the right choice and what we 'really want.

Oh hello anxiety. Wish you weren't here.

- Sky Singer

That's rough! I had similar concerns when I changed my name. Something about getting to actually do it/having it feel more real makes the doubt creep in. If it's any reassurance, if it's something y'all have been thinking about and even using for so many years, it's probably the right choice ^^

[Kisota]

Last two runs in a row I’ve seen a coyote again. It really is a nice way to start the day. It was below 10 degrees today, though. VERY cold and bracing. I’m very glad I’ve gotten myself to start running for my cardio again. I think the guaranteed outdoor time first thing in the morning is really good for me mentally - especially so if I get to see coyotes, haha.

It’s just nice feeling like so much more of my lifestyle lets me be animal. Someone made a snide comment to me a while back implying that it was by luck I am able to spend a lot of time in my theriotype’s habitat.

And while I try to be conscious and grateful to all the circumstances and privileges that helped me be where I am... I also made a TON of conscious choices. Being in the ecosystem and living circumstances that I like has always been crucial to my mental health. Access to natural areas is critical both for my work and my own personal wellbeing. And I’ve made a lot of sacrifices to get where I am. I guess I still need to reply to Forest Wind’s thread about that sort of thing.

Anyway, I’m feeling grateful and like I’m at a greater place of being actualized. It’s been a long process to get here, and I’m a lot happier in many ways because of it. It’s really hard to get up before dawn and run out in the cold, but I don’t want to take a moment of it for granted. Running through all the frosted grasses this morning and seeing the sleek coyote slipping through them up ahead, I really felt like I’ve come a long way.

[Coyote Jones]

I feel like a fraud. Schizotypal. A method actor in a Three Wolf Moon t-shirt, armed with junk science. Maybe I'm fake and wrong about everything. I know I have some pretty big blind spots in social situations.

Anyway. Bears:

I often do not want to think about being a bear, but I often do think about being a bear, even if I actively try not to think about being a bear.

I am a bear.

[Berlin]

I'm starting to focus more on my experiences & feelings where therianthropy is concerned. This has done wonders. My only complaint is that it kinda has me going full circle on things. Went through a lot of canines, had a lot of cameo shifts, and now I'm back at wolf and I feel so much more correct about myself. More freely moving and less restricted.

[Coyote Jones]

I'm still convinced that I'm a fraud.

Having said that, images of wolves or coyotes fighting or even jaw-sparring within a pack make me feel shifty. Animal.

The need to actively fight for what you want in life, even basic survival. The reminder that life doesn't owe me anything, and that people are cruel and selfish and would happily allow me to be homeless and starving if it means not taxing the 0.1%. Now get out of our line of vision, homeless person; you're bringing down our property values. Let's shame you, too. Sad! Pathetic!

There's a Faith and the Muse song I like, "Sredni Vashtar":

Time to show some sharper teeth
Time to grow a thicker skin
Time to drop the seventh veil
And let some madness wander in
This is not a darker age
Just the turning of the wheel
I am here to reassure we never really had control

[Lopori]

For a few years I've been aware of a Russian guy who runs a circus and owns weird pets. Including an adult female chimp and bonobo!
I hate bumping into his social medias, the situation bothers me. I avoid his videos.
But last night and today I got curious and watched a number of his vids. Uncofmortable yet intrigued, couldn't look away.

Seeing this bonobo hanging out with humans all willy nilly and occasionally wearing a shirt or copying tasks is often how I picture myself.
I've always felt like a kid around other adults. Just sitting there separately twiddling my thumbs while they do their grownup stuff. And when compared to a human, an adult bonobo in their presence looks/acts infantile.
I saw parallels between how I feel and what I saw, and that adds more weirdness to the already disturbing experience of watching apes be "pets".

Something else saddening and relatable. She gets excitable sometimes and jacks off a lot at around the same time bonobos bang eachother as per the usual ritual. (Being given food, playing, nervous etc) The apparent loneliness hurts to watch. There is
this whole key, mundane interaction that she will likely never have. Neither will the chimp for that matter but you get my drift.
And the regularity of such interactions in my daily life is sorely lacking too and that fucking kills honestly.
I've always used comparisons with captive apes when describing therianthropy to people. Tho I feel a bit guilty and dramatic when presented with the real thing. I feel the comparison all the same tho.

She and her chimp friend seem like lovely people and I like their personalities. I want to know how they're doing. But I hate the humans and the situation so I come away feeling bad regardless. There's a conflict there. (Wait wtf just realised the chimp died a few months ago from some illness or something darn it I wondered why she wasn't in recent vids. Cant understand Russian. Darn I liked her)

Dunno where I'm going with this tbh xP just rambling