Okay so an ex from fairly recently had a trait that we both shared a bad trait, we both tend to cling to grudges. every slight, every time either of us were ever wronged and in my case especially if by my mate then i would never forget it and certainly never move beyond that event. this resulted in a very unhealthy cycle of holding unending grudges that only stack upon each-other resulting in endless rage often hurting and rejecting the other.
One good thing has come from this experience for me though, it has shown me what I'm doing wrong now. the issue is learning to let go of it and move beyond this growing list of endless grudges. in not so many words how best to change for the better.